


When They All Come Crashing Down

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Coma, F/M, Heavy Angst, Major Character Injury, Medical Trauma, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 01:51:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9412442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: “Fitz?” a voice asked at the lab door. It was Daisy and it looked as though she were crying. “Coulson… he wants to talk to you.”He looked up at her, and saw her red puffy eyes “Is Jemma... is she okay?”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amazingjemma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingjemma/gifts), [ItsMeGetOverIt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsMeGetOverIt/gifts), [stjarna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjarna/gifts).



> This fic was helped/inspired by three people  
> [amazingjemma](http://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingjemma/pseuds/amazingjemma) who first helped to give me the idea with the hard drive months ago now  
> [ItsMeGetOverIt](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsMeGetOverIt/pseuds/ItsMeGetOverIt) who after some talking with helped me to get off my butt and actually write this fic this weekend  
> and [ stjarna](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stjarna/pseuds/stjarna) who has not only gifted me some amazing fics but has ideas similar to mine with this idea! Hope you don't mind.
> 
> You really should check out all three of these amazing people as they all write some really good fic that I always re read! Thanks guys! I couldn't have written this without your help!

He was in the lab, fiddling with some wire, hoping to improve the cloaking technology on the Jets as ordered by the Director, but he seemed to have spent so much time on it in the past number of years that it seemed pointless now but still, it had been an order from the Director, and it gave him something to pass the time while Jemma was away.

He sighed, hating the Director for doing this again. Taking her away for yet another political meeting. Something that she didn’t care for either, she would much rather be in the lab, something that she had told Mace on many occasions now. She told him she was better suited for the lab, not these political meetings were she had little experience and that he was best bringing someone else, someone who had experience in that world. But Mace being Mace had refused to listen to it, and said that she should come, she was the world’s leading specialist on the Inhumans and if anyone could persuade the government and advise them on Inhumans, it was her.

He shook his head, unable to find anything that could be improved and slid his chair across the lab, to where the radio was and turned it up, hoping that some music would be able to help him do anything.

Or at least pass the time until Jemma got back.

Then he got thinking. They hadn’t been spending as much time together as they usually did, so he reached for his phone and sent her a text saying that if she wanted to they could go out for dinner and maybe rent a film, just have a night together.

She replied quickly enough, obviously on her lunch break given the time. _That would be amazing Fitz. Where do you want to go? Xxxxx_

He smiled upon seeing her text and immediately replied. _I don’t mind. It’s up to you. Xxxxx_

_Maybe the Italian place? Xxxxx_

_Sounds perfect Jems. I’ll see you later. Love you xxxxxx_

_Love you more. Xxxxxxx_

Placing his phone into his pocket, he stood up and decided that it was time for lunch himself.

***

Late afternoon came and he hadn’t heard for Jemma yet, something that wasn’t surprising. She was to be in meetings all day though she was to be home around this time, but maybe she was stuck in traffic, there had been an accident downtown, the news announcement on his phone had told him that. There also had been something on the radio about it, but he hadn't heard that much, having turned the volume back down. 

He decided to text her that, to tell her to let the Director know and to be careful. Maybe take an alternative route. He didn't want anything bad to happen. 

An hour passed and there was still no reply. This wasn’t abnormal, maybe the meeting had gone on longer than anyone had thought but something was off. He could sense it. There was a nervous fluttering feeling in his stomach, and the lab techs were starting to talk.

He looked up, and turned to stare at them, to ask them if they knew something he didn't but upon them noticing his glance they stopped speaking, and exited the lab but they gave him a look of pity as they did so. 

And it terrified him.

He already thought that something was wrong but this just confirmed that there was, indeed, something wrong.

“Fitz?” a voice asked at the lab door. It was Daisy and it looked as though she were crying. “Coulson… he wants to talk to you.”

He looked up at her, and saw her red puffy eyes “Is Jemma... is she okay?”

Daisy stared at him for a moment then shook her head. “No, no she’s not okay.”

“What… what happened?”

“Coulson, he wants to talk to you.”

“Just… Please tell me. What… what happened to her?”

“Have you heard about the accident downtown?”

Fitz nodded. “Yeah.”

“It was… it was the Director and Jemma.”

Fitz had to lean against the desk, and took a breath in. He hadn’t heard anything about that accident except that it had happened. He didn’t know what the injuries were, hell, he didn’t even know if they were alive.

“Mace…” Daisy continued. “He just has a few scratches and a broken arm. Nothing major… But Jemma… She’s… she’s in critical condition Fitz. We’ve just found out. It took them half an hour to get her out of the wreck, and they took her to the local hospital, they had to airlift her. But they don’t want to keep her there, not permanently, just until she’s stable then they’re transferring her back…”

“Take me to her.”

Daisy frowned. “What about Coulson?”

“That… he doesn’t matter. Just take me… I need to see her Daisy.” His voice was shaking and it finally broke. “Please.”

He blinked and tears streamed down his face and Daisy nodded.

***

They made it to the garage okay, Coulson had tried to stop them but upon seeing Fitz he just passed him the keys, knowing that it was pointless to stop them.

And the traffic to the hospital wasn’t that bad, they took a number of back roads, trying to avoid the area in which the accident had happened. Neither of the agents wanted to see anything related to it.

They managed to get to it within half an hour but the real difficulties arrived when they got to reception. The receptionist told them that she couldn’t take visitors, not with the condition that she was currently in. It took all of Fitz’s will power not to knock something off a table and he took a step back, stumbling and ran his hands through his hair, but Daisy stayed at reception.

“You have to let him see her.”

The receptionist shook her head. “I’m sorry but he can’t. Not yet anyway. She’s in a critical…”

Daisy raised an eyebrow. “Do you even know how much he means to her? He’s not just… he’s not he boyfriend, he’s her best friend. He’s been with her through everything and if he’s… There’s no one else who should be by her side and… Just let him see her.”

The receptionist was about to speak when a voice from behind her spoke.

“Just let him in.” Daisy spun and saw Mace standing there and the receptionist nodded, knowing that she was now stuck. It was probably the wave of the badge and the fact that it was the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. standing there that had a lot of influence.

“Fitz,” Daisy spoke and the engineer made his way back to the desk.

“Where is she?” he asked, wanting nothing more than to see her as nothing else mattered at this moment in time.

“Floor 12, room 084.”

“Thank you,” Fitz whispered and headed off towards the elevator.

***

He knocked on the door, even though she was in a coma and pushed it openly gently, and felt his heart stop when he saw her lying there.

A heart monitor was the only thing in the room that provided any sound, a slow steady beat that showed that she was at least alive.

And all the tubes that were attached to her, helping her to breath and proving her with the fluids that she needed to stay alive… it wasn’t natural and not something that he wanted to see. But it was helping her. So he pushed all other thoughts aside and made his way towards the bed.

“Hey,” he whispered, pulling up a seat next to her bed, and taking her hand in his own, running his thumb across the back of it, catching on the fabric of the bandages that covered her hand, and up to her wrist. He was also carefully to avoid the drip that was in her hand, knowing that knocking it out would be bad. “Jems, I’m sorry for what happened. Yeah? I know, I know that I wasn’t my fault. But you shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t… You shouldn’t be suffering.”

He allowed his eyes to take her face in, at the tube that was down her throat. He knew how uncomfortable it was, having had one in himself when he was in his coma. Then he noticed the tiny cuts that littered her face, probably from where the glass had shattered and rained down on her.

He sighed, and closed his eyes, crying once again.

She was here, in a coma, suffering and in pain and there was nothing that he could do about it.

And for that, he hated himself.

If it were the other way around, as it once had been, Jemma would know what to do. Jemma would be able to fix it, she could make it all better.

But she couldn’t.

Because she was lying there.

So he did what he could and took her hand in his own, and began talking to her, hoping that his voice could provide some reassurances to her.

***

A number of weeks passed, and there was little progress with Jemma. The hospital had managed to stabilise her but she wasn’t out of the woods.

Not yet.

There was a chance that she wasn’t going to wake up from the coma, that the damage was too much.

But Fitz refused to believe that, something similar had been said about him. And here he was. So he refused to give up on her, not when she had done the same for him. She had kept fighting for him, and he would do the same for her until his dying breath.

“Fitz,” Mack said, walking into the lab, and then cast a glance at the medical bay, at where Jemma was. The door to the medical bay was open, filling the lab with a steady beating from the heart monitor and there was something else. Another noise… “Is that music?” he asked, forgetting about the question that he was going to originally ask Fitz.

Fitz looked up from his computer. “What? That, oh yeah. It’s one of Jemma’s favourite albums. There’s studies that show music can help someone in a coma, help wake them up. I was thinking it could help her.”

Mack nodded and took a step closer to the screen. “Is that her…”

“Her vitals? Yeah, everything about her. She seems fine… just in a… just in a coma.” He sighed.

“She’ll be fine Turbo. We both know her, and you know her best. She’s survived so much more than this.”

“Yeah,” Fitz said, replying, his voice a whisper. He pushed the mouse back and forth, the cursor on screen copying his movements. “I’m just worried. Everyone’s giving up on her again, like when… They want to take her off life support. They think… they don’t think that she’s going to pull through.”

“But you do?”

“She has to. I can’t… I don’t think I’ll manage if she dies.” He trailed off after the last word, as if it was the first time he had said it aloud. “She can’t… she can’t die.”

“She’ll be fine,” Mack said again, though having heard what the medical team said about her, he wasn’t too sure.

***

The weekend came and went, and there was still no progress from Jemma. In fact, she had deteriorated over the weekend. Her brain activity already low, was now virtually not there at all.

Mace had contacted her parents, they deserved to know just what condition their only daughter was in, and they had given him permission to take her off life support, the only thing that was keeping her alive.

And Fitz was distraught, knowing that there was nothing that he could do.

That he had failed her.

He went to the lab as the medical team made final preparations, and was about to shove something off his desk when he spotted it.

Something he had forgotten that he had.

The hard drive with the scan of Jemma’s brain.

Something that might just work.

Something that might save her.

All he had to do was convince the team.

***

They listened to him, allowed him to speak his mind but they were confused. Shocked even.

“Is this even right?” Daisy asked, staring at the object on the table in front of them. “I mean, the memory machine has only hurt people before. Surely Jemma wouldn’t want that.”

“Would you rather she died?” Fitz spat back, maybe a little too harshly.

“She’s my friend, of course I don’t want to lose her! Jemma doesn’t just matter to you!”

Fitz leant forward, placing his elbows on the table and burying his face in his hands. “Please, please let me try this.”

“What would it require?” Mace asked, knowing that if there was some form, some chance of saving Jemma they would take it.

“You can’t be considering this!” Mack said, shocked. Messing with anyone’s brain was never a fun thing to do, especially if you were on the receiving end. “What would Jemma want?”

Mace raised a hand to shush him. “Agent Fitz?”

Fitz looked up. “The Memory Machine. We take… we wipe her mind of everything in it. All her memories, everything. And then we reverse the process and place the memories from this, her brain scan back into her.”

Coulson raised an eyebrow. “Will it work?”

Fitz shrugged, “Honestly, I have no idea. But we have to try. Please.”

The Director nodded. “You can try and if it fails…”

“I let her go.”

***

They had her moved from the bed to the Memory Machine. It had taken some effort so as not to knock out or disrupt any of the wires keeping her alive.

Once they were finally set up, Fitz cleared the room, wanting only him in it. In case something went wrong, it reduced the chances of someone else getting hurt, which is the last thing that he wanted to do.

“Fitz,” came a voice at the doorway. It was Mace. Fitz just ignored him. Ever since the accident, Fitz couldn’t help but be angry at him. He had come away with few injuries and Jemma was the one who was worse off, placed in a coma. Yes, Mace couldn’t help which side of the car had been hit, but he was still angry.

He had even tried to make the engineer focus on something else, to work on another project that didn’t even need working on. He had only done it to try and help Fitz, to give him something to focus on that wasn’t Jemma but Fitz never saw it that way. An argument had erupted and Fitz had won, refusing to work on anything except trying to help Jemma.

“Leave it,” came a voice. May. Footsteps receded and once they were gone, Fitz looked back again.

They were gone and he was alone.

“It’s okay,” he whispered to Jemma as he powered on the machine. “It’s going to be okay.”

***

Daisy was in the kitchen, clutching a bottle of beer, unsure of how she felt. She had spent the past few days preparing herself for what had seemed like the outcome at the time.

That Jemma would pass away.

And now… now Fitz had this idea.

This crazy way that could save her, or it might not. It could make everything even worse, if that were possible.

And Daisy… she didn’t want to give herself false hope. She had had enough of that in her life.

She didn’t want to get her expectations up only to have them crushed in front of her. She wouldn’t be able to take the pain.

So she sat there in silence for over an hour, alone, still cradling the bottle when there was someone in the doorway suddenly. Coulson.

“Is she?” Daisy asked, scared to know the answer because as much she tried to prepare herself, she still wasn’t ready to hear the words. Not now. Not ever.

“Fitz did it.” There was an air of disbelief around him, as if he were unable to believe that Fitz had actually done it. “She’s still in the coma, and will be for at least a week. But there’s activity.”

Daisy let out a breath that she never knew she was holding, the first tear in so very long now streaming down her face.

***

The rest of the week was awful, and one of the longest weeks that Fitz had ever known. He never once left her side, watching, waiting for anything to happen.  

When finally, in the early hours of the morning, something did happen.

Her fingers twitched.

“Jemma?” he asked, pressing the call button, prompting the medical team to come to him. “Jems?”

There seemed to be a moan of pain coming from her.

She was panicking and he knew that he had to calm her down, just in case she hurt herself, caused herself more pain, something that no one wanted. Her eyes fluttered open, brown and full of fear and she seemed to want to get out of there as soon as she could.

“Jemma,” he said, reaching over, and cupping her face, so that she could see him. It took her a moment but she took in his face, fear fading slightly from her eyes as she realised who was there. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

He was about to say more, but the medical team had arrived and asked him to leave the room, just until everything was okay.

***

“I’m what?” Jemma asked, after Fitz had explained everything to her. “I was…”

He nodded, “I’m so sorry, Jems. I know… it was the only way.” She stared at him, blinking, tears forming in her eyes. She had so many memoires, all of them to be precise up until four months ago. She was missing so much, it was just like Maveth all over again.

And she hated the sensation, of not knowing what had happened.

Having that massive blank in her mind where everyone had experienced something and she hadn’t.

She felt as if she had been left behind.

So much had happened.

AIDA and her subsequent betrayal.

Robbie and Eli Morrow.

Fitz, Coulson and their disappearance.

Daisy returning to the team.

Being kidnapped by the government.

It was all too much to process at once.

“I’m sorry Jems,” he whispered, running his thumb over the back of her hand reassuringly. It had been a number of days since she had been allowed to leave medical and Fitz had taken her back to their apartment, thinking that a number of days away would help her recover but it seemed that it wasn’t.

She was upset, understandably at having lost so much time again, and not that long after Maveth either.

She was confused, disorientated and there was nothing Fitz could do at the moment, and it upset him, to see her like that.

“I think,” she began. “I would like some time alone. If that’s okay.” Seeing the look on his face she apologised. She didn’t want to upset him, to cause him any more pain than she had already.

He shook his head. “It’s okay, I understand.” He leaned in and placed a kiss to her forehead. “Just take as long as you need, yeah?”

She nodded, fighting back the tears, something she had managed to succeed at until she heard the front door close, and then she let all the emotions escape her that she had been holding in for so long now.

After a while, she pulled herself off the bed, wiping away the tears and made her way to the fridge, the apartment still empty with Fitz allowing her the time she needed to recover and opened the door.

There wasn’t much food there, as neither of them had managed to do a proper shop since she had been injured all those weeks ago now.

She sighed, and opened the freezer, hoping that there was something in there. There wasn’t, just a bar of chocolate. Pulling it out, and checking that it was still in date, another thing that she was still adjusting to what date it was. It was hard, getting use to the fact it was into 2017 and not autumn 2016. Then she headed back to the bedroom.

Once she was back in the bed, and had allowed a piece of chocolate to start to melt in her mouth, savouring something that she hadn’t allowed herself to eat in so many months, she reached for her notebook and began writing.

***

A number of hours later, there was a knock on her door, and someone calling her name. At the knock she hoped it was Fitz but it wasn’t Fitz. It was May. Probably checking up on since she hadn’t yet been back to base. And also, she had been ignoring all messages on her phone all day.

“It’s open,” she called. “I’m in the bedroom.”

Footsteps echoed through the apartment and soon May was standing in the doorway, holding a bag of groceries. “I brought food. Fitz said you had no food.”

Jemma felt her stomach constrict at the mention of his name and something about her must have given it away as May just instructed her to come into the kitchen.

She followed the older woman through the apartment, neither of them speaking.

“Sit,” May commanded, pointing at the table and Jemma pulled out a chair, sitting down.

May began put away the food, and Jemma offered to help but May shook her head and told her not too, that she was still recovering and to relax, so Jemma followed the instructions the best she could.

“How is he?” Jemma asked, and May looked at her, an eyebrow raised. “Fitz. Is he… he looked hurt when he left. I didn’t mean… I didn’t want to upset him.”

“He’s fine. He’s more worried about you. He thinks he’s hurt you.”

“Oh Fitz. He… he hasn’t. I just…”

“You’re confused. Hurting, that’s natural Jemma. After what you’ve been through. It’s natural.”

“It is?”

May nodded. She felt her heart hurt at this, at what Jemma had said and how she felt. She always did this, and it couldn’t have been healthy. “You don’t allow yourself time to heal, you put others before yourself. You can allow yourself this time to heal. Take time away if you need too.”

She nodded, and rubbed at her face. “I just… I don’t want to hurt him. It’s so confusing, thinking about all that I’ve missed. It’s like… it’s like Maveth all over again.”

“Then don’t think about what you’ve missed. You’ve lost time, yes but that doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t?”

May shook her head, closing the fridge door after putting a carton of milk away and leaned against the fridge. “You’re alive, and to us, that’s all that matters.”

Jemma swallowed and nodded. “I’m going… I’m going to phone Fitz.”

May smiled. “Okay.”

Jemma returned it.

***

It hadn’t taken long for Fitz to return to the apartment, he had just been down the road in the local café with Daisy.

“Fitz,” Jemma said from her place on the sofa wrapped up in a blanket as he came in the door. “I’m sorry if I upset you but I needed this time alone, just to think and I have. May helped and I know I’m never getting those months back. And last time, after Maveth, you know what I was like. I pushed myself, I forced myself to work and tried to go back to who I once was and it… it wasn’t healthy. I have to admit I’ve lost this time and I’m never getting it back and it will take time to come to terms with that. I’m not going to get there overnight.”

He closed the door, and took a seat on the sofa next to her, and she spun so that she was facing him, making the conversation easier. He smiled at her, showing her that it was okay, reassuring her that everything was fine.

She took a breath, composing herself and he smiled at her again before taking her hand and bringing it up to him, allowing his lips to ghost her knuckles. “It’s going to take time Fitz, and I’m okay… I’m okay with that. Because… because I would rather have that than not be here at all. Fitz, thank you.”

He shrugged. “It was nothing.”

She laughed, shaking her head and leaning into him. “You saved me. You brought me back from the dead, and not for the first time.”

“What was I supposed to do? You’ve done the same for me.”

“I suppose,” she replied, closing her eyes as she felt him kiss the top of her head. “And May said we should take a break.”

“We deserve it,” he agreed. “After all we’ve been through. Where do you think…”

“Seychelles.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've been planning this for months but I could never just get it to work but finally I settled on something. I meant to write it at the beginning of the series, just after amazingjemma mentioned the brain scan but with uni being uni, and me adjusting to the first year, I never did but I think it works better with more time that passed between the first scan and when its used as it gives the feeling more time has passed rather than a week. If that makes sense. A massive thank you to everyone again, and I hope you enjoyed this. Thanks for checking out and title comes from The Only One by Evanescence.


End file.
